The length of our daylight doesn't change much here in the tropics, close to the equator. However, it has been a dark season. We've had several patients die in the last few weeks, including children with chronic medical problems. There have been car accidents, gun shot wounds, and advancing cancers, in addition to the normal fractures, pains, etc.
The emotional darkness is highlighting for me the desperate need for light, for redemption, and for healing of a broken world. John 1 (especially vs 1-18) has been coming to mind frequently. The light of the world, who came in baby human form, is stronger than the darkness, and is the hope I cling to.
I'm tired at the moment. Usually this time of year I blame the fatigue on less daylight, making me want to hibernate and sleep, not fighting circadian rhythms. This year, with bright sunny days interspersed with occasional storms, it's not the daylight. Part of it is interrupted sleep- with being on call every other night I've been in the hospital a fair amount. Part is emotional- being in a completely new environment for the holidays, one that is so completely opposite from the white Christmas everyone dreams of, is tiring. Part is what I already mentioned- that it has been a hard dark season.
The fatigue just makes me more aware of my weakness. I'm much quicker to get annoyed at patients, more likely to be selfish with my time, less intentional about reaching out to people who may be hurting as I focus inward on my own emotional needs. I'm so glad Jesus knew how broken the world was that he was entered, and how sinful the people were he was dying for. It didn't take him by surprise to learn that the world isn't glittery and candle-lit, with smiling faces all around. He knew, and in spite of knowing, or perhaps because he knew, he came. To live in this mess with us for awhile; to be incarnate.
I'm tired, but I'm thankful.
The emotional darkness is highlighting for me the desperate need for light, for redemption, and for healing of a broken world. John 1 (especially vs 1-18) has been coming to mind frequently. The light of the world, who came in baby human form, is stronger than the darkness, and is the hope I cling to.
I'm tired at the moment. Usually this time of year I blame the fatigue on less daylight, making me want to hibernate and sleep, not fighting circadian rhythms. This year, with bright sunny days interspersed with occasional storms, it's not the daylight. Part of it is interrupted sleep- with being on call every other night I've been in the hospital a fair amount. Part is emotional- being in a completely new environment for the holidays, one that is so completely opposite from the white Christmas everyone dreams of, is tiring. Part is what I already mentioned- that it has been a hard dark season.
The fatigue just makes me more aware of my weakness. I'm much quicker to get annoyed at patients, more likely to be selfish with my time, less intentional about reaching out to people who may be hurting as I focus inward on my own emotional needs. I'm so glad Jesus knew how broken the world was that he was entered, and how sinful the people were he was dying for. It didn't take him by surprise to learn that the world isn't glittery and candle-lit, with smiling faces all around. He knew, and in spite of knowing, or perhaps because he knew, he came. To live in this mess with us for awhile; to be incarnate.
I'm tired, but I'm thankful.
